ONE | You will feel guilty.
Guilty you ask? Yes. For so long your first born child has had your undivided attention but that is all coming to an end. Constant playtime and cuddles, story time as they please and let’s face it, you probably even went to the effort of preparing meals other than ones which require 5 minutes and 38 seconds in the microwave; not anymore.
Somedays the only comfort I find is in the bottom of the shower, with hot water running over my face; no one knows I'm crying. In a dark room I feel safe, the only light is a dim glow of the heater. Somedays I'm ashamed.
TWO | There will still be things left unknown.
When I fell pregnant with Arch I thought hell yes! I’ve got this parenting gig down pat. How hard can it be to throw another little love in the mix? It’s harder than you think; my two boys are complete opposites, nothing I experienced with Charlie helped prepare me for Archer.
Archer has colic and these next few sentences sum it up.
With you using my nipple as a dummy I wouldn't dare even move an inch. I'm grateful for the cuddles, but your older brother is getting restless and bored; he wants mummy too. The dishes are being stacked higher as it rolls into day two of nursing you. The sun is warm outside and the clothesline is staring at me, but instead clothes are being pulled out from the bottom draws which haven't been worn in forever.
THREE | A toddlers love is rough.
Charlie is the roughest form of gentle you have ever seen! He loves his little brother more than anything in the world, yet he has a funny way of showing it. I tell Archer Im sorry on a daily basis; for having such a rough brother, for not having much ‘mummy time’ and many other things. But I have thought of a few things I'm generally not sorry about and I thought sharing them with you would be the perfect way to conclude this post. Enjoy.
I'm not sorry that you have a big brother here waiting for you. To protect you, care and defend you. He will be your first friend, your best friend. The one you can fight with yet he will always be right there behind you. Ready to catch you when you fall; and laugh as he lifts you back up.
That I'm not sorry about, and one day you will thank me.
Tiarne Straatman – a mother, a lover, a wanna be writer.